This is Ice
by Disney United
Summary: Every day I would watch that one girl, hoping she'd notice me. Or...rather that she'd notice me in the way I "noticed" her. She certainly knew who I was, there was no denying that. After all: I was the only ginger, lesbian, goody-two-shoes that had had a crush on her since middle school. Highschool AU, punk!Elsa, femslash (Elsanna), drabble-esque chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**_For The Legend of Rune Factory_**

Every day I would watch that one girl, hoping she'd notice me. Or...rather that she'd notice me in the way I "noticed" her. She certainly knew who I was, there was no denying that. After all: I was the only ginger, lesbian, goody-two-shoes that had had a crush on her since middle school.

She mystified me. That's all there was to it. Everything about her seemed magical and hopelessly forbidden. That only made me desire her all the more.

However...her feelings towards me...well, they weren't at all similar to mine towards her.

"Ugh," the magical girl sighed, flipping her white-blond braid over her shoulder, causing the light-blue highlights to catch the light. "The lesbo is looking at me again," she moaned to her cronies, who snickered.

I knew that I should have turned away then...it would have been the smart thing to do. But I couldn't draw my eyes from her beautiful hair or her beautiful eyes, or her beautiful body that was sheltered from my seeking eyes by that sharp black leather...

She suddenly walked away from her group, slamming me up against the lockers. I felt her breath on my face. It smelled like a strange mixture of tobacco and mint. Every sense I possessed felt hyper active, with her close proximity to me, with her hand closed around my wrist, pinning it above my head, and all the other places our bodies touched. She felt as cold as she looked.

Her eyes skimmed over my body, and I shivered. Her eyes met mine briefly, and she spat out, "faggot," before walking away.

I held my breath until she was out of site. When I released it, I smiled. I felt I had to, for I savored those moments we had together, as wrong as that sounds, (considering the only times we spent together was when she was ruthlessly degrading me).

She was so beautiful, and in spite of all the bad with her, I knew there was good in there too. There's good in everyone after all—it just takes a special person to bring that good to the surface.

And I, Anna, was determined to be Elsa's "special person".

**_A/N This, if you can't tell, if written in a very odd style. The chapters are short an no matter how many times you ask for me to write longer chapters for this: It's not gonna happen. This is already completely written out, so updates will come once, or even twice a day. Elsa is a mean punk in the begining, but she gets better. Review if you like, but please be respectful, and don't whine and complain about things that aren't going to change. Thanks!_**

**_If you have any requests for stories Disney-related, feel free to send me a message or review at any time._**


	2. Chapter 2

Elsa's "group" was an odd assortment of both girls and boys, all of whom were considered "gothic". They were into the drugs and the cigarettes, and that heavy metal music that made my skull pound.

Elsa was different from them, to say the least. Unlike all of them, who dyed their hair until it was black and completely dead, her's was light-colored, and quite obviously alive. I felt her hair once, to see if it was as soft as it looked. It was. Of course, I got a fist in the face for it, but it was so worth it.

She also just seemed more in-tune with her "self-ness" than most others. For instance, she was considered "punk", but she still smiled sometimes, and she was even in show choir. Nobody questioned her life-choices, because everything she did had a sense of right-ness for her about it.

Like picking on me. It just seemed so right. She had done it for so long, that everyone just sort of expected it. It wasn't necessarily something people liked, but it was just expected. So nobody did anything to stop it (not that I wanted them to).

"You're staring at me again."

Her voice was like glass, or ice. It was sharp. It was cutting. It always made me jump.

I met her eyes briefly before shrugging and looking down.

"It's annoying. Stop it, so I won't have to make you," she threatened. Then she turned and walked down the hallway, the people seeming to part down the center to provide her a path.


	3. Chapter 3

I probably should have been more concerned about my own welfare, in retrospect. But I always do stupid things. Especially when it comes to Elsa.

When she smacked me up against the locker, pinning me there with both her eyes and her body, I knew it was mostly my fault.

"I told you to stop staring at me." Then she slapped me across the cheek. Me head whipped back, connecting with the locker. Then I fell unconscious.


	4. Chapter 4

I saw her again a week later. When I was allowed to return to school after recovering from my concussion, and after she stopped with her day-reporting.

In that week, I thought a lot about Elsa. Though...that really wasn't any different than normal. But this time...it was more in a way, that I was trying to remember who she used to be. Reminiscing, in a sense.

She moved to our elementary in third grade. She was quiet and reserved, which we all thought was weird. She didn't really play at recess, instead opting to go to the library. She always went back to the corner where the lights would flicker oddly, and she would sit and read the encyclopedias. I knew that because after she moved in, I stopped going to recess. Observing her seemed more exciting, somehow.

She had made it to "J" by the time I worked up the courage to go up to her.

"What are you doing here?!" she demanded.

I shrugged, before turning to go.

"Wait!"

I stopped.

"Your name...it's Anna right?"

I nodded.

"Your hair is pretty."

I shrugged.

She shifted uncomfortably. "Braids are hard. I can never do them."

I went over to her, my hands poised to touch her hair. But she jerked away.

"What is on your hands?!"

I looked down at my hands, before reaching into my pocket and pulling out a half-melted chocolate bar.

She grimaced, turning back to her book. I then took my leave, shoving the rest of the chocolate bar in my mouth.

I have always loved chocolate, you see. Even now, existence seems impossible without it. Chocolate was what got me through that ridiculous concussion.

But when I looked at Elsa, after not seeing her for an entire week, I realized there was something I desired even more than chocolate.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm supposed to say I'm sorry," Elsa said. "I'm not though. You know that, right?"

I nodded.

"And you know that if you continue to stare at me like the freak you are, then I will be forced to hit you again, right?"

I nodded again.

"You're weird," she declared, before turning from me. But she didn't leave right away.

"I won't hit you as hard next time though. Being laid up in bed sucks."

Then she left.


	6. Chapter 6

I always see Elsa throughout the day, because our lockers are right across the hallway from each other's. But it's only after fifth period lunch, with our twenty minutes of free time, that we really ever "talk" to each other.

That's why it surprised me when she walked up to me in the morning.

"Why are you here so early?" she asked me.

I shrugged.

She snorted. "Are you retarded or something? Because you don't talk much."

I shrugged.

She glared at me, raising a hand to hit me. I closed my eyes, but the hit never came.

"Do you try to irritate me?"

I shook my head immediately.

"Then what? I don't get it. Why do you constantly do things that you know will set me off?"

I shrugged, and this time I was being completely honest. She must have sensed that, for her eyes narrowed in confusion, when she left.


	7. Chapter 7

When I was young, I was very shy. That has never worn off. Awkwardness always seems to run in my veins, in copious amounts. In middle school I talked a lot. And then in high school, I completely closed off. Like I couldn't talk. I couldn't force myself to talk.

The doctors called it selective mutism.

My classmates called it annoying.

"Why don't you talk?" Elsa demanded.

I shrugged.

"You're annoying."

I just looked at her.

"Yeah...then why am I always around you, right?" her nose scrunched. "God, your freakishness is rubbing off on me." She slammed my locker shut and walked away.


	8. Chapter 8

"I like Nelson Mandela," Elsa said to me, that one day when I came into the library. I sat down beside her. She had made it to "M" in the encyclopedias.

"He reminds me of Ghandi," she added, looking at me expectantly.

Not sure what I supposed to do, I reached in my pocket, withdrawing a chocolate bar. I set it near her hand.

She looked from it to me, before slowly bringing it up to her mouth. When she ate it, a bit of chocolate smeared over her lips, making me giggle. When she looked at me questioningly, I pointed to my own lips. Her tongue darted out, searching around, basically skimming over every place but where the chocolate was. I continued pointing.

"What?!" she laughed. Her laugh was light and wonderful, and it made my mood that much better. In fact, my giggle grew into an all-out laugh.

We laughed until we both fell onto the floor, grabbing our sides and gasping fro breaths. She rolled over to face me. We were very close.

"I like your laugh," she whispered, giving me a lopsided smile. In that moment, I realized that Elsa wasn't perfect. But I liked her like that. I liked her.

I moved closer to her, until our bodies were flush against each other. My tongue clumsily fell out of my mouth, running over her lips, ridding them of the remaining chocolate. I only realized after I moved back, that my eyes had closed.

Her eyes were just opening as well. We stared at each other, eyes wide, before we both climbed back up on our chairs.

"Ben...Benoit Mandelbrot..." she breathed. "A Polish math-something, I guess..."


	9. Chapter 9

"I don't like you," Elsa declared angrily one morning. "I just want that to be clear." She crossed her arms and leaned against my locker.

She glared at her "cronies" who were gathered before her locker. They kept glancing back at her expectantly. However, her scowl only deepened.

"I don't like anyone really. People should get that through their heads." Elsa was as beautiful as always. But dark circles rested beneath her bright blue eyes.

Sensing my eyes on her, she turned to me, snapping, "What?!"

I looked away.


	10. Chapter 10

Around October, the summer weather finally began to fade away. I started wearing sweatshirts and jeans instead of my normal t shirts and jeans. Elsa started wearing a leather jacket.

"Your clothing choices suck," she said to me one day.

I looked down at my clothing. Then back up at her.

"It's not like you're pretty or anything. But you're not morbidly obese." She started to walk away, shooting over her shoulder, "Perhaps people would pick on you less that way."


	11. Chapter 11

I went into a higher end clothing store that very weekend, instead of one of those places that just sells graphic t shirts. All the clothing felt weird, too fancy. Like it was too loose in some places, and too tight in others.

I was self-conscious about a lot of things. Like my weight and hair color, as well as my being as "quiet" as I am. I didn't want to add clothes-malfunctions to the list.

I was leaving the store, empty-handed, when I saw Elsa. She was standing by a motorcycle, smoking. Her eyes met mine.

I hesitated only briefly before going back in the store.

The next day at school she looked me up and down. I was wearing a skirt. That was the only difference.

"You forgot to shave," she said bluntly. My head whipped down, me eyes widening in horror at my legs. She snickered.

"You really are retarded, aren't you?"

I was the one to leave my locker first, that time. I ran to the bathroom, and stuffed my legs into a pair of my normal jeans, whipping the skirt off. Then I tossed the thing in the trash, walking back out into the hall.

Elsa was back at her locker, but she still noticed my reappearance. When she looked at me, something flashed across her eyes.

It was disappointment.


	12. Chapter 12

"You make it so easy to pick on you," Elsa explained, about a week later. That was the first thing she said, when she came up to me. "I mean, you practically set yourself up."

I shrugged.

She sighed angrily. "If you had even a little bit of a backbone, I'd probably back off, you know."

I nodded. I knew.

"Then why don't you defend yourself more?"

I shrugged.

She slammed me up against the locker, like she had done countless times before. However, this time was different. She didn't hold me as tight, and she wasn't holding me there to keep me there.

However, I didn't move. Not an inch. I ignored the opportunity that she was giving me for another one.

When she realized that I wasn't really trying to escape, she drew away quickly. Her eyes were wide, like that one time in the library, with the "M" encyclopedia laying open on the table above us.

"You are sick in the head!" she declared, walking away.


	13. Chapter 13

She didn't talk to me for a few weeks.

She didn't even look at me.

I didn't understand why.

Of all the things that had happened between us, her being upset about my unwillingness to defend myself seemed a little ridiculous.

Ok. Very ridiculous.

I was getting antsy.

I needed her presence.

She reminded me that I was alive. That there was still beauty left in the world.

Without her, my world was bleak.

I hated it.


	14. Chapter 14

It was getting steadily colder out. The trees were bare, and the ground was frozen. The first snow would be coming soon, so I made sure to have my heavy winter coat on hand.

However, I had bigger concerns than the weather

Elsa had taken to skipping school. She looked pale. There were dark circles beneath her beautiful eyes. And those eyes never looked my way.

I even tried going over to her locker once. But she just walked away.

I opened my mouth. My lips even formed her name. But no sound came out. Instead, my hand just remained outstretched, as she walked away.


	15. Chapter 15

"William Shakespeare," Elsa said, licking the chocolate off the tips of her fingers. I leaned forward on the study table, my eyes focused solely on her.

"He wrote all these play-things, like forever ago."

I hummed, slightly interested. She cast me a side-long glance.

"Do you like plays or something?"

I shrugged, before giving a slight nod.

"I like musicals. Do you remember that time that "Cats" came to the community theater?" I nodded. "I went to see that with my mom! She and I really like those things. She promised to take me to "The Phantom of the Opera" in a couple years." She beamed, practically bouncing in excitement.

I smiled encouragingly at her. She looked back into the book.

"He wrote lots of plays, like "The Tempest", "Julius...something", and "O-the-slow?", and something called "Romeo and Juliet"." I perked up at the last one, which she noticed.

It took her only a couple minutes to look up "Romeo and Juliet". "I guess it's sad. I mean...it says it's a tragedy, I guess. But...it's a love story too?"

A line appeared in between her eyebrows, her lips pressing together. She looked up at me a moment later, causing me to quickly look down. I felt my face heat up.

"But love isn't sad..." she said, still sounding confused.

Before that moment, I thought that as well. But when I looked up at Elsa, meeting her intelligent, though hopelessly oblivious eyes, my opinion changed.


	16. Chapter 16

I have to admit, I lied. At least a little bit. I said once that I fell in love with Elsa when we were in middle school. I guess it's not entirely accurate, but in a way, it is. I started liking her a long time ago, to be honest. In elementary, when I first saw her, and when we worked our way through the alphabet in the library.

But in middle school...I fell in love with her.

We were friends by then, in an odd sort of way. We were both outsiders, and both smart. She gave me confidence and I gave her candy. It was just some sort of unspoken agreement, that we were in this sort-of-friends state.

"These teachers are trying to torture us," she would groan. We had most of our classes together, but there was hardly any time to talk. Therefore, we would always meet before school in the library to talk. The library, after all, was where our friendship got it's start.

I would reply with a few words of affirmation, before no doubt going off into some long-winded spiel about the copious amounts of homework assigned to us all. I talked a lot back then. But...only to Elsa really. I felt my words were special, and would only gift those who I felt were deserving of my words, them.

Elsa didn't seem to mind my rambling. It probably seemed better than how silent I was back in elementary. At least now it didn't seem like I was a brick wall being talked to by Elsa. We were interacting.

One time I even blurted out, "I like you," before promptly clasping my hands over my mouth.

She laughed.

"You're funny. I like you too."

I couldn't help but feel that if Elsa knew the strong emotions behind my words, she wouldn't be acting so light-hearted about it.


	17. Chapter 17

"It snowed."

Elsa's voice startled me. She hadn't talked to me for weeks, by that time. In other words, no one had talked to me for weeks. Or at least no one that mattered.

I nodded in reply to her statement.

"Do you remember..." she cut herself off, shaking her head. She breathed in and out to calm herself. "Nevermind."

I caught her wrist as she was walking away. She whirled around to face me, most likely to say something cutting.

She didn't get the chance.

"Elsa," I said, though it was so quiet, you could barely hear it. However, her eyes widened. She jerked away from me, her mouth a gaping hole. She turned and left me then.

I didn't stop her.


	18. Chapter 18

"Elsa!" I called, as I walked into the library one morning. We were in eighth grade then. Or maybe seventh...I'm not quite sure. All those years sort of ran together in my mind.

The point was, after I called her name, there was no answer. Because she wasn't there.

My mind took an overly-long time to process that. It was like my mind was doing flips, trying to figure out where she was, if she was coming back, and if she wasn't, how I would survive.

I stood there in the middle of the library for a long time. For some reason, people would walk by me and give me these pitying looks. None of them told me to get to class or anything.

I suppose all of that added up to something bad, and I probably realized as such then as well. But I couldn't push myself to ask anyone any questions. Eventually, the principal came in and told me what happened.

I screamed. That much I do remember. I don't know exactly what I said, though no-doubt it was Elsa's name, over and over again.


	19. Chapter 19

I didn't go to school the next day, because I was at the hospital. Not for myself, but for Elsa.

She was in a bad way. Everyone had told me that. But I didn't believe them, because there was no way "Elsa" and "bad" could be used in the sentence.

But when the fact was shoved in my face as soon as I walked through the door to her hospital room, I cried. I ran over to her bed, smothered my face into her covers, and cried for a really long time.

She looked horrible, though still beautiful. Beneath all the bruises and stitches and lacerations and cuts and IVs and sterile hospital blankets, she was still the beautiful girl I knew.

However, deep down, somewhere within myself, I knew that when she woke up, she wouldn't be the same.


	20. Chapter 20

Elsa healed pretty nicely. To this day, she only has one scar, the one that her jaggedly cut bangs hide. I suppose she hates it, because it reminds her of that time.

The principal had told me, in the library that morning, that it had been a car wreck. Elsa and her parents had been speeding, and they crashed into this teenager who had ran a stop sign. The teenager had died, as well as both of Elsa's parents...leaving her as the only survivor.

The principal of the middle school must have known that Elsa and I were friends, or something, because he told me to really be there for her, in those "hard times". He said she would have all these emotions that would seem strange to me, and that she would probably lash out from time to time. He said that she'd have this thing called "survivor's guilt". He said that some of the high schoolers may be angry at her for her parents speeding, because it helped bring about an end to one of their classmate's life. He said that their anger at Elsa wouldn't be right, but to not disrespect them, because they were in the grieving process as well.

He said all those things and several more things that I just didn't get. Death wasn't something that middle schoolers "get", or...really, they're not supposed to "get" something like that.

But I nodded to everything he said, boldly looking him in the eye. For Elsa, I would do anything.

I was completely prepared for her to lash out at me and everyone else, and then suddenly burst into tears. I was prepared for her to be almost bipolar in her attitude. I was prepared for her to become listless, caring about nothing. I was even prepared for her to try and kill herself.

But I wasn't prepared for other possibilities.


	21. Chapter 21

"Why'd you say my name?" Elsa asked quietly. This was one of those rare mornings she came early to school. I suppose it was to see me, though I had to force myself to doubt that assumption.

I shrugged in response to her question. She huffed angrily.

"I don't get you."

I laughed under my breath. I'm not sure why. Maybe because the whole situation was absurd, so it deserved an absurd response.

"Stop laughing!" she demanded, slamming her hand against my locker. I quickly followed her orders.

Her bright blue eyes blinked, a pink tinge suddenly coloring her cheeks. "You...I don't get you," she repeated as she took a deep breath, looking around. Making sure no one was around, I suppose.

She leaned in close, her smoky and minty breath ghosting across my cheek, as her lips brushed my ear.

"Why do you like me?" she asked in hushed tones.

I closed my eyes briefly, wondering at how she could ask such a question. When my eyes opened once again, I caught Elsa staring at me. Gently and slowly, as though attempting to stroke a wild animal, my hand rose up, pushing aside her bangs, running the pad of my thumb over her scar.

She shuddered, her breath whooshing out in a gasp...but she didn't pull away.

"What isn't there to like?" I asked.


	22. Chapter 22

She was unconscious for a week. I know, because I visited her everyday, waiting by her bedside to wake up.

One day, about halfway through that time, I decided to try something. No one was around, and Elsa was unconscious. There would be no harm to anyone, I remember mentally reassuring myself before the act.

I leaned over her, one hand caressing her face and the other positioned beside her for leverage, before I kissed her.

It was different from the almost-kiss that had happened in elementary. Both of our lips were dry, and the kiss held far more heat to it. It was less sloppy, though not entirely clean-cut either. It was pleasant.

I pulled back suddenly, as I heard some noise from down the hall. My eyes were wide and my face flushed. I balled a hand, pressing it over my mouth, as though trying to press the memory of her into myself.

When I dared to look back down at Elsa, I was almost disappointed to see that she hadn't woken up, like in the fairytales.

I started crying suddenly. It was crying like what happened when the principal told me about the crash. Several nurses rushed in, trying to calm me down, making empty promises that relied on fate alone. They said all sorts of things, about Elsa getting better, and that'd she'd be waking up soon.

I didn't have it in me to tell them the real reason I was crying. I didn't want to tell them the real reason I was crying, because it was oh-so incredibly selfish.

I didn't want to tell them the real reason I was crying: my love wasn't "true" enough.


	23. Chapter 23

Elsa got in a really bad fight a couple days after she talked to me that one morning. A lot of people were surprised about it, because the person she beat up was from her group of friends and.

The reason for the fight was also strange. The reason...was me.

Apparently her friends were talking about me and she decided to punch the living daylights out of one of them. I don't know what was said, and frankly, I don't want to know.

As I laid in bed the night after the fight, I imagined Elsa trying to be my Prince Charming like I tried to be with her. I imagined her rushing to my defense against some roguish brute. I imagined her sweeping into the school after her latest bout of day reporting, sweeping me off my feet-

Around that point I stopped imagining. Because I knew that something so romantic would never happen for me. To convince myself as such would only serve to make me hurt all the worse in the long run.

After all, love is sad.


	24. Chapter 24

I was there when Elsa woke up. We stared at each other for a long time, neither of us saying a word. Selfish thoughts filled my brain, as I thought about the stolen kiss. Had Elsa somehow sensed it? Was she angry? Or...dare I think it: happy?

Then she began laughing.

The laugh wasn't good. It was grating and painful, and I hate it. It was a sound so horrific and demonic, it haunted my deepest and darkest nightmares from then on, for that laugh was a laugh that could have never came from a sane person.

I remember begging her to stop, gripping her hand. Laughing and insanity were two things I wasn't prepared for, you see.

When she started crying, I will guiltily admit, I felt a little better. Crying was an appropriate emotion to be having. But then she started laughing at the same time, and then she screamed, yanking at the wires attached to her, words shooting out of her mouth like blood-soaked bullets.

As all sorts of people flooded into the room, I ran. I ran as far away from her as possible.

But no matter where I went, the laugh refused to stop echoing through my mind.


	25. Chapter 25

I didn't see her again until she returned to school. My parents didn't think it was the best idea for me to visit her, considering how traumatized I was at the end of that one visit.

The snow was thickly blanketing the ground, so I had on all this extra clothing when I came into school that day. I remember that well, because when I went into the library that morning, I was already really hot.

I saw her. She was sitting at our normal spot, but she wasn't reading or anything. She was just staring off into space.

I approached her calmly, in spite of how nervous I was. By then, I was sweating buckets.

Even as I sat down at our table, she didn't move. It was almost as if she was a statue, with the only movements being the subtle rise and fall of her chest. Even her eyes didn't blink.

Then, her hand was fluttering up to her lips, touching them lightly. Her eyes blinked, before focusing on me.

"I had a dream about you," she said, though her voice displayed no emotion.

I felt my face grow hotter than it already was.

"I had wings. They were this blue color, and like a butterfly's. After the wreck, I was told that I was supposed to live with you and your parents. When I got to your house, you and your family pinned me down, before ripping off my wings, slowly and painfully."

I started backing away. Her words her slowly distorting, becoming stinging poison. I felt sick.

"And then, you kissed me." I froze, my breath catching in my throat. "So I murdered you."

I turned away from her quickly walking to the door of the library. She started laughing that horrible laugh, continuing to shout those painful words.

"When you were dead, it was great! Your parents liked me better than you! They didn't want to believe you were theirs, in the end, because I was so much better! So guess what they did? They sowed my crumpled wings onto your back! Isn't...that...HILARIOUS?!"

I went home early that day, because I had a fever, and I threw up in the first five minutes of my first class.


	26. Chapter 26

I didn't give up on her. I couldn't. Not totally, at least.

I constantly went after her, harassing her with my kindness. She would either ignore me, or push me away. Physically and mentally.

One day I remember with perfect clarity. It was towards the end of winter, January something, because there was still a lot of snow on the ground. We were in eighth grade. That I definitely remember.

I entered the library. Elsa was sitting where she had been that morning her words had physically made me sick. She wasn't reading. In fact, I hadn't seen her pick up a book since the accident.

I peaked around the bookshelf, my eyes trained on her. There was something wild and untamed about her...and yet she remained reserved, sitting stiffly with her emotions concealed behind whatever facade she had hastily thrown up.

She caught sight of me, her sharp eyes pinning me to the ground like icicles. She didn't say anything, merely looking at me.

"Elsa," I whispered. Something briefly flashed in her eyes. Some wisp of her former self appeared, like a ghost of someone drifting across her features.

Somehow, that gave me something—some bit of confidence I had been lacking. My mouth opened and the first words I could think of tumbled out:

"Do you...wanna build a snowman?"

She suddenly stood up, slapping me across the face.

"Get away from me."

"Elsa-"

"Get away-"

I cut her off in the worst way possible, at that time. I kissed her.

It wasn't nice. In fact, it was horrible. It was violent. It was sloppy. I hated that kiss. It was like that sour kiss somehow tarnished the previous moments out lips had locked.

Neither of our eyes closed.

She slapped me again, forcing the kiss to break.

"Elsa," I breathed. "Please...don't shut me out..."

Elsa was flushed, her hand pressed over her mouth. Her eyes shone with disgust, hatred, but above all, agony. This was the last thing I wanted. I didn't want for her to get hurt. I wanted to be there for her to help her. Not...not this.

"Don't shut me out," I repeated. It didn't sound at all like an order; I was begging.

The hand that she was holding against her lips dropped suddenly. She glared at me whilst smirking, a mean feat. The look was so heinous, and it didn't belong at all on her beautiful, beautiful face.

"You were never given an invitation in, in the first place," she hissed at me, her words oozing poisonous venom as she finally replied to my previous statement. "Now leave before I make you...freak."


	27. Chapter 27

I stood outside the school early one morning, simply looking around. Winter was beautiful, and yet horrible. It was cold and harsh, but the crystalline flakes that coated everything looked like something from a fairytale.

As the rest of the buses screeched to a halt in front of the school, I was quickly reminded that the life I was stuck in was not a fairytale. No, not even close.

People pushed past me, though I stood still, like a stationary rock amidst a raging current.

I wished life was a fairytale, with happy endings, and princesses, and true love, and the villain being defeated in the end.

But I suppose that's my problem right there: My princess and true love...the key to my happy ending...

Elsa pushed by me extra hard. I fell out of place, landing in a snow bank beside the sidewalk. Her friends laughed, though she remained stoic, merely walking on into the school.

I watched her, from where I had fallen. My princess and true love and the key to my happiness is my own personal villain.

My life was not a fairytale. If anything, it was one that revolved around an eternal winter...because winter was the only thing that could perfectly describe Elsa: So beautiful, and yet so harsh and cold.


	28. Chapter 28

"What were you doing yesterday morning?" she asked me.

I shrugged.

She slammed me up against my locker, causing me to wince. She leaned in close, her face a vicious snarl.

"Why don't you talk?" she growled lowly. Both of her hands were gripping my upper arms. I couldn't move, not an inch. For some reason, I felt a little panicky, something I had never really felt before in Elsa's presence. The way she was staring at me, the intensity of it...

I felt scared.

"Why don't you talk?!" she asked again, this time practically screaming. The noisy hallway around us ceased to make any sound, as everyone stopped to stare at us.

She glared at me, ignoring the spectators. "Well?"

I shrugged.

She punched me solidly in the nose, causing bursts of light to appear behind my eyes. I briefly felt a hot liquid run down my face, before I started falling.

The nurse later told me I was unconscious before I hit the ground.


	29. Chapter 29

The week that Elsa was in day reporting passed faster than the first few times, though it was probably all in my head. In fact, I knew it was in my head.

The first many times, I was eager for her to return. This time I wasn't. It was as simple as that.

She had scared me, with that insane rage in her eyes. She scared me like the time she told me about the wings being ripped off her back and being sown on mine. Only...it wasn't like that time.

I couldn't really explain it, but when she had me pressed up against the lockers, yelling at me, it wasn't because she hated me. It was almost as though...she was concerned. Concerned about me.

And that scared me more than anything.


	30. Chapter 30

Elsa arrived back at school two weeks before Christmas break—you know, that horrible time when all the teachers are thrusting last-minute finals preparations on you.

Our eyes met, before I looked away. I couldn't look into her blue eyes. I couldn't allow myself to dream my suspicions were true, because there was honestly no way in hell Elsa would like me.

She barely even noticed me, and those "notices" she did grant me weren't obviously too kind.

I sometimes hated seeing her at school, in spite of the fact that she was as wonderful and beautiful as one bright star glimmering in an inky black sky.

I hated seeing her because she gave me hope. And that was not something I could afford in whatever relationship we possessed.


	31. Chapter 31

A week passed, and our roles were reversed; Elsa would start for my side of the hallway, and I would leave before she even got close to reaching me. She didn't say my name, or give me any kind looks, but her eyes held something other than supreme hatred; at least that was something.

But I didn't want to be near her, not at all. The pain in my chest was wrenching, feeling like Elsa literally had some vicious tool lodged in me, and was yanking it in an attempt to get it out.

I longed for her, oh how I did.

But I couldn't be near her. If I came close at all to her, I knew my desire would overcome all else, and there would be no going back.

I stayed away. It was the only way to protect Elsa from me. And...when I looked in the mirror, at the dark bruise still coloring my face...the only way to protect myself from her.


	32. Chapter 32

"I don't get you," Elsa said to me. I sighed heavily, though I felt my heart rate speed up. That was the first time she had talked to me in nearly two weeks.

"I know." I blinked in shock. My mouth had seemed to move on it's own, the words flowing out smoothly.

Elsa stared at me, her mouth opened slightly. She suddenly cleared her throat, rubbing her forehead. "So you speak."

I shrugged.

"Why only sometimes? I thought you were a mute."

"I only speak...to...you..." I whispered, regretting the words as soon as they left me. That was the reason I hardly ever spoke: The wrong words always came out.

"Why?"

I shrugged, trying to burrow into my locker, hiding my blushing face from Elsa's cold eyes.

She sighed heavily, leaning against the locker next to mine. "You're so weird, I mean...you act like you are absolutely in love with me for the longest time, and then you just..." Elsa gestured angrily with her hands.

I wasn't sure what to tell her. I just sighed, looking at my feet. I was wearing thick winter boots that day, with fur trimmings. Elsa was wearing leather ones.

A couple kids laughed as they were entering the school. Elsa immediately drew away, her pride separating her and I more than any physical barrier could.

She continued looking at me, with me returning the favor. She ignored her friends and I ignored everyone else. The warning bell rang, and people scattered to their classrooms.

When there was no one left in our hallway any longer, siding from each other, I said loudly and clearly, "Let me answer your question with a question: Why do you care?"

"I don't!" she instantly replied, her face contorting. However, I caught a glimpse of something, in those ice-crusted eyes of hers. It looked like denial.

But I couldn't allow myself to think—to hope—for that to be true.

So I turned and headed to class, the bell tolling loudly in my ears.


	33. Chapter 33

We used to build snowmen a lot during middle school, Elsa and I. Sometimes they were simple three-parters, with loose pieces of gravel used to make the mouth and eyes and such. Sometimes we went all out, giving the snowman legs, and arms, and even a carrot nose.

It was an art, to us, and one that we both enjoyed immensely. We would laugh and play around outside at break, unlike everyone else who seemed to have "outgrown" recess. Then again, we had spent our entire childhood worth of recesses in the school library, reading encyclopedias.

After "recess", especially during winter, our teacher would give us some form of snack—which was typically hot chocolate.

We would both sit in our seats, isolated from everyone, sipping the warm and sweet liquid, and simply enjoying each others' presence.

I remember one time, I accidentally spilt quite lot of hot chocolate on myself (so much, so that it soaked through my shirt). The teacher had sent me to the bathroom to change into something dry, and sent Elsa to "help" (for whatever reason).

I stripped off the wet t shirt, wincing at how discolored my wet skin beneath my shirt looked. I began to unwind the paper towel, moving for the sink, when Elsa's hand darted out, catching mine. I turned, looking her in the eye.

She was blushing madly, her lips pressed thinly together. When they parted, a few seconds later, an uneasy laugh drifted out.

"Um...we don't want any of that to go to waste, right?"

I stood there petrified, as Elsa moved closer. She bent down, slightly, her tongue darting out of her mouth, gliding gently and easily over my skin, lapping up the left over liquid.

I felt my face heat up, and my palms start sweating. I felt scared...but in a good way? I felt sick to my stomach, and oh-so very nervous.

And I loved every second of those feelings.


	34. Chapter 34

After the car crash, Elsa moved in with her aunt. She was a nice person, as far as I knew. She had a nice home in the nice part of town. She had a nice job. Nice clothes. Nice hair. She was a woman that oozed niceness.

All of us at school knew that.

So we were all surprised when Elsa arrived at school freshman year, looking as punk as all get out.

I hadn't talked to her all summer...ergo, I hadn't really talked all summer. When I saw her new look, I figured it was just some faze she was going through, what with the loss of her parents. So I hesitated only a second before bounding up to her.

She turned, looking at me. I opened my mouth to say something. Probably something about how much I missed her. Or something.

But she didn't give me the chance. She pushed me away so suddenly and abruptly, I fell over, sliding into the lockers across the hall.

I wondered how she had became so strong, as I passed out to the sound of laughter and people high-fiving her.


	35. Chapter 35

I never got too stressed out about finals. I had a memory like a steel trap, so I never forgot any of the schoolwork I needed to remember. I was extremely lucky in that regard.

So those last few days of classes before winter break were absolute cake for me. Or...at least until Elsa came up to me, shoving a ratger crumpled up piece of paper into my hands.

I glanced down at it, then back up at her.

She sighed wearily, kneeding her forehead. "He told us to invite all of our friends...but it's not exactly their style."

The paper was a special invitation to the choir concert, which floated about every year. Elsa, in spite of how she was, really cared a lot about her choir.

"I tried telling my teacher that it's ridiculous, nobody wants to come to some stupid as shit concert," she muttered suddenly, rolling her eyes, as she feigned not caring.

I hesitated. And then I opened my mouth, the words just barely whisping through my cracked lips. "I'll...go..."

She looked mildly surprised. And then she nodded. And gave me a smile. It was small, but it was a smile. And she gave it. To. Me.

The invitation to something Elsa cared about? The smile? Both were the best Christmas presents I'd ever received, and she probably had no idea how much they meant to me.

She turned from me, walking back over to her locker. Her friends gave her weird looks, and starting makin jests and such, but she didn't seem to care. She flipped them off idly, gathering her books, and headed off to whatever class she needed to go to.

My eyes followed her until she was out of sight, with a smile playing on my lips.


	36. Chapter 36

I wore a dress to the concert. With my boots. I had looked in the mirror before the concert, making several internal jokes about how ridiculous I looked, before shrugging, and deciding to make the excuse that there was nearly a foot of snow outside.

When I arrived at the school auditorium, I briefly wondered if I had come to the wrong place. Hardly a soul was there. Only me and a few parents. I sat down towards the back.

The choir came on, shortly after I arrived. They were wearing bulky and uncomfortable robes and sashes, with black shoes, so they all looked "uniform".

They sang several songs. Choir arrangements of your typical Christmas songs, as well as some more obscure pieces for the "sacred" part of the concert.

I let the music wash over me, my eyes never straying from Elsa.

She looked beautiful. The light blue highlights seemed to shine under the stage lights, flickering whenever she moved.

I stared at her the entire time.


	37. Chapter 37

Afterwards, I waited around to congratulate her. People slowly left, trickling out to their cars, leaving me alone. I didn't mind much, though. I loved looking at the white wintery world, and the midnight sky above me with stars winking down as white fog puffed out my mouth.

She came outside wearing a light coat, and a serene smile on her face. When she saw me, that smile froze, before melting away.

"What are you still doing here?"

I shrugged slightly, before my eyes went back up to the stars. "I...wanted to tell you...that you did a good job tonight..."

"How would you know how I did?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm in a choir. You can't hear my voice amidst all the others."

I shrugged once again.

She sighed. "Well, whatever. You can go now."

I looked away from the stars, looking into her eyes. Their beauty...it never ceased to amaze me. They were like the scene around me, concentrated into two brilliant blue orbs.

"We should be getting back to our houses...it's freezing..." she said quietly. In spite of her words, she didn't move. Her eyes continued to look into mine.

I stepped forward slowly, testing her. She didn't move back. I raised a hand, gently stroking her hair. I felt the scar, and she shuddered.

"Sorry," I whispered, moving my hand away.

She bit her lip, closing her eyes. Then she spoke, her voice halting. "It's...strange...That wound refuses to heal..."

"Can I help?"

"No," she said bluntly.

Her eyes opened once more, the beauty washing over me. She breathed in and out three times, enough for the mint and cigarette smell to stroke my face, before we kissed.

It was slow.

Our mouths moved with - not against - each other's, and it was incredible. We had never done this. Never. The times before, with the chocolate, and the hate...there was nothing that could compare to this.

It was like a drug.

It was intoxicating.


	38. Chapter 38

Her aunt was away, doing who knows what. Details like that...they weren't important.

We moved through her house, and garments were shed. There was not a moment we paused in our exploits; it was almost as though we had been waiting for this...to do this...for years. We were desperate.

We tumbled into her room, a tangle of sweat-stained limbs. I didn't pay attention to how her room looked, for I was to busy with how she looked. We explored quite a bit, seeing how certain things would make the other react. I loved how she would flush, arching up to my hands. I loved how she felt against me. I loved her.

I loved her.

We moved against each other, and it was messy. Very hot, and very messy. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Afterwards, we laid beside each other, looking completely wrecked. But I didn't care. I burrowed against her, listening to her heart.

She had her arms wrapped around me. It surprised me, a bit, how warm she was.


	39. Chapter 39

I fell asleep, if only for a while. When I woke up, it was late, and I was sure my parents were worried. So I pulled my clothes on, and left.

I left a note for Elsa. I told her, once again, how good she did at the choir concert. How good she did in bed. How I hoped to see her again soon.

When I arrived back at my home, my parents briefly interrogated me. But once I told them that I had gone to a small party, with actual people, they immediately waved off their concerns. They were just glad I was interacting.

I changed into comfortable clothing and laid in bed, then, thinking about Elsa — there was no way I couldn't think about Elsa, with what had just transpired. I remembered every touch, every caress. I felt the strange heat emanating from her, as we came together. She hadn't been cold.

I fell asleep after a while, her ghost hands still creeping across my body and mind.


	40. Chapter 40

Christmas break was two weeks long. I saw Elsa only once, after the events of the night of her choir concert.

She had been at the grocery store — the sketchy one, that sold cigarettes to those underaged. She barely glanced at me, but I saw an emotion in her eyes that was not one I wanted to see, when she looked at me.

It was regret. And that should have been my first clue.


	41. Chapter 41

After seeing her at the grocery store, I became full of anticipation. Worry. I couldn't enjoy the break from school, when all I could think about was getting back to school, and getting back to seeing Elsa, daily.

I wasn't sure where our relationship was. I mean...sex, random sex that probably only truly meant something to me...that wasn't a relationship. A good, romantic one anyway.

The only way to describe the love and the hate and absolute confusion that our relationship was built off of was fucked up.

Whatever we had was fucked up.


	42. Chapter 42

Returning to school, I wasn't sure what to expect. I still wasn't sure what our relationship exactly was...only that there were certainly some issues to work out.

In my idiotic and idealistic moments, I could picture Elsa looking at me from across the hallway, her eyes showing nothing but absolute love for me, before she came over to me, with her hands as soft as silk gliding behind my head and cupping the nape of my neck, and her lips pressing against mine-

Then I would take a deep breath, and tell myself that I wasn't living in a fairytale.

So when I walked into school, I didn't have high expectations. Or any expectations really, figuring that Elsa would avoid me in her "not wanting to face the past" campaign.

However, I wasn't expecting her to stare at me, before bursting into loud laughing. Her cronies laughed with her, calling out things to me. I didn't care what they said though. I didn't. The only one whose opinion I cared about hadn't stopped laughing since she laid eyes on me.

Slowly, her laughs slowed down, before stopping totally. She had a lazy smirk on her face, and I hated it. I actually wanted to hit her, to smack her across the face to get rid of that ugly look.

There was a fire building within me, but I kept it at bay.

"Oh Anna," Elsa suddenly cooed. Turning to her friends, she laughed, "The freak thought it was "something" I bet."

I clenched my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. Her words were like venom, burning slowly through my veins.

Elsa walked over, pressing me against the locker. She stroked my hair, her lips inches from my own. "An experiment. That's all. Just an experiment," she whispered.

I felt it, the moment that the poison in my veins reached my heart. I felt the organ begin to quiver and contract, squeezing and ripping apart my soul. It hurt more than anything, any physical injury.

I left then, walking as fast as I could to the restroom, crying for the first time in many years.


	43. Chapter 43

The last time I cried, was my freshman year in high school, I had tried to approach Elsa once again. She had been surrounded then by the group of friends she had adopted. I had broke through briefly, catching a glimpse of her, before I was pushed back.

They turned on me, then, surrounding me. The whole thing terrified me, so much so that I backed up against the lockers behind me, cowering.

"I just...I just want to talk to Elsa..." I whispered.

They all glanced at each other, before parting. She appeared then, the bright spot amongst the dark and foul beings. She seemed to look at me, without really seeing anything - as though it was only her eyes seeing me, and not her soul.

She tilted her head, before turning on her heal, and walking away.

I screamed after her.

I screamed.

And I cried.

In that moment, I knew she was gone. There was no hope of the Elsa I knew returning. She was gone, and what was left...was this.

I had to accept that.

I had to.

And yet...I still haven't.

I still believe.


	44. Chapter 44

I avoided her. I couldn't look at her, because when I did, I didn't feel what I had felt all those other times before. I wasn't sure what I felt, but it wasn't something good.

I didn't want to give up on her. I had promised myself I wouldn't. But she was making it oh-so hard to stick by that promise.

I hated that. I wanted so little. I only wanted for her to be as she used to be, to not be bad.

I wanted for her to be the girl I saw, that one time in the library.

I wanted her to be the girl who read encyclopedias for fun.

I wanted her to build a snowman with me.

I wanted her to be happy.

To feel loved.

To love me.

If I were to be honest, I knew it would take a miracle for that to happen. In spite of everything I've done, with sticking by Elsa...I was not a miracle worker.


	45. Chapter 45

After Christmas Break is over, you just want the snow to melt away, and new life to spring up. But nature doesn't listen to your wants, until around mid-March, so you're left with an uncomfortable chilled feeling, and the gross, lingering snow.

I felt like I had turned into a robot or something of the like, who followed some set routine or schedule without leaving it. I talked to no one, and didn't do anything but schoolwork. Elsa and a couple members of her group tried to harass me a couple times, but I just walked away. I mean...what else could I do? What else was there to do?

I was at a complete loss.

So I just continued on living, as though Elsa didn't exist, and as though we had no past.

But I wasn't really living then, was I? After all, you can't live with part of your heart missing.


	46. Chapter 46

"So are you ignoring me now?"

I ignored her.

"I just...I can't believe you." I froze, staring into my locker. Indignation shot through me because she couldn't believe me? She couldn't justify my actions against her in her head? Was she really so delusional, so naive?

"I can't believe that you'd start ignoring me after we..." she glanced around, making sure no one was there. As normal, in the mornings, there wasn't. "You know...slept together."

"We fucked," I corrected.

"No," she breathed. She shook her head, and her eyes showed such pain, I couldn't even begin to imagine the internal trials she had gone through to gain such a look.

My heart ached.

She continued talking. "I can't believe that you would love me for as long as you did, and finally, when the sexual tension between the two of us was released-"

"That's rich!" I exclaimed, shaking my head, but she continued.

"I can't imagine that you could love me for so long than...just give up!"

"You don't love me!" I yelled at her. She looked taken aback, before she leaned forward, pressing her lips against my own. She whispered words, words of facades she had to uphold, and friends she didn't want betray...and lies. Lies of love. I turned my head to the side, squeezing my eyes shut.

I couldn't allow myself to see her.

"You don't..." I whispered, feeling a single tear stain my cheek.


	47. Chapter 47

I opened my locker and a note tumbled out.

Elsa's handwriting was something beautiful. It was something completely unexpected from a person like her, with her leather clothing and rough personality.

The handwriting was curling. It was so beautiful, that I could have looked at it all day, without reading the words. I really didn't want to read the words, because when words are strung together, they make sentences. And when sentences are strung together, they make paragraphs. And when paragraphs are mixed with certain other elements, they make a letter.

Which was what I held in my hand, judging by the label on the top.

Letters could have anything in them. Confessions of love. Confessions of hate. Death threats. All of which (or at least for the last two) could have very likely been in the letter.

But the fact was, there were only three words, not counting the signature at the bottom.

In spite of the simplicity of the sentence, I had to read it several times, before I actually understood what it was saying.

When I did, I threw the letter to the bottom of my locker, where erasers and forgotten assignments found their home.

"I liked it."


	48. Chapter 48

Elsa hadn't hurt me physically in a long time. Not seriously, anyway. Not since that night, with the passion rolling off of us in waves.

Except for a few isolated (albeit traumatizing) occurrences, she hadn't really talked to me either.

However, she had been doing little things.

Pulling my braids.

Taking my pencils.

Knocking my books askew.

It reminded me of those boys in grade school that would do those things to the girls they liked.

It unnerved me.

Elsa unnerved me.

I wasn't sure what we had between us, accept that it was sorta bad with some little bits of good. But what I was even more unsure about...

Well, it was Elsa herself.

I didn't know who she was anymore!

Was she the introverted child that stayed in at recesses and read?

Was she the adolescent who loved hot chocolate and snowmen?

Was she the teen bully grieving the loss of her parents?

Was she the woman who was (seemingly) starting to fall for her?

Was she lost?

When I think back on our lives together, it occurs to me that perhaps she had always been lost. Maybe we're all lost, and we're just wandering around until we're found by the person who needs to be found by us.

I wanted to find Elsa.

I wanted to know who exactly she was.

But there was a problem...even she didn't seem to know who she was anymore.


	49. Chapter 49

Life had became an endless stream of the same things happening over and over again. The monotonousness was agonizing.

It seemed like the weather's unyielding conditions were the cause. After all, staring at road-stained snow gets tiring after a while.

I felt a little betrayed by the whole system of things. I was a senior. The year was supposed to be glorious.

The only thing the year had seemed to have gained me was a few trips to the hospital, a super messed up relationship with my childhood friend, and a world-weary attitude.

However, I hadn't really seemed to have lost much. Except my virginity, that is.

I wanted the winter to be over, so I could look forward to summer with it's vibrant colors and nice temperatures, and every thing else lovely.

I wanted to get away from everything with every fiber of my being. I needed something to break the track I had been set upon. I needed an escape from the featureless life I had been gifted.


	50. Chapter 50

February came, after January flew by. Elsa continued coming after me, to such an extent that it was unnerving. Everyone, including her friends, were beginning to notice her odd obsession. They began to leave her slowly, so she wouldn't notice.

She didn't, for her eyes were always trained on me.

I got questioned by everyone. Questions about what had happened to make Elsa behave so strangely. I didn't have an answer, to be honest, so I never gave one.

But I was still unnerved by Elsa's eyes constantly following every movement I made. Briefly, I wondered if this was how she felt, with my eyes on her all the time.

But I knew my eyes were different when I looked at her. They were war. They were caring. Loving, because that was how I felt about her.

Hers were cold. Sharp like an ice pick. Hating and lusting. Bent and broken.

I should have known. I should have.


	51. Chapter 51

On Valentine's Day, all hell broke loose.

I was at school early, and she ambushed me. She grabbed me, tugging me with all her might into the bathroom.

She kissed me hungrily, desperate, and almost fearful. She gripped my arms to an almost painful level, as she pressed me up against the wall.

I tried kissing back, and I tried pushing her away. Sometimes I tried doing both at the same time. I felt my heartbeat pick up.

"Elsa," I whispered to her. She clamped a hand over my mouth. It occurred to me, in that horrible moment, that no matter what, I would love her. The promises I secretly made to her would ring true. Always.

But in spite of being utterly in love with her, I was afraid. Not of what I knew was to come, but of how Elsa would be after.

"Elsa...no, you don't want to do this."

"Yes Anna. I do," she hissed. "And so do you Anna."

"No! Not like this!" She clamped a hand over my mouth again, her other hand running over my body greedily.

I wanted this. No I didn't. Yes! but no! No, not like this!

I liked it before!

It was like love before!

This wasn't love.

This was lust.

Desperate...

Hungry...

Demanding...

Unyielding...

It was just a lust for my body. That was what she "liked".

She liked the sex. She liked my body.

My soul was another story.

I screamed into her hand. I didn't want to become a body to Elsa. I wanted to be Elsa's everything. Not a toy, that she could discard once the sex was over.

No. No.

This wasn't her. It couldn't be her.

It couldn't.

Our clothes were only half shed, when we came together for the second time.

I cried for the loss of my beautiful Elsa.


	52. Chapter 52

I went through school that day, somehow. When I got home, though, I promptly threw up.

Why did Elsa have to do that? Why? What could she possibly have gained from it? A moment of satisfaction?

She hadn't been satisfied. That I knew.

She left so quickly, fading away like a ghost. I almost could convince myself that what happened hadn't happened, except that it had.

It had.

So I picked myself up, and I fixed myself, and I carried on through the day.

I didn't see Elsa again that day. Not once.


	53. Chapter 53

I stayed home from school for the next few days. I had a fever.

Because of what happened, I suppose.

I refused to call it that one word. Because it wasn't, not really. A little bit...but not all the way.

But in my head, something of Elsa's shine had faded away.

I knew it was wrong, but I felt closer to her because of it. That desperate love-making had been her, all her, through and through. It wasn't the complete and utter beauty I was used to, nor the calm and collected manner she usually displayed in front of everyone else. It was a flawed front, one of a true, real person.

The fact that I was probably one of the only people in the world to have seen this side of Elsa made me feel special.

And disgusted. Somehow...


	54. Chapter 54

When I came back to school, everyone just stared. Their eyes followed me through the halls, varying emotions coloring them.

I walked very quickly to my locker, not even looking Elsa's way. I knew she was there, though. I felt the chill radiating off of her.

I finally couldn't take it. I turned to face her.

She was all alone. Her friends were several paces away, all looking a mixture of disgusted and terrified.

Our other classmates looked similarly.

I didn't have enough time to dissect Elsa's expression, before she crashed her lips against mine.

In the hallway.

In front of everyone.

I jerked back from the kiss, not having really witnessed it. I was in shock. She just gave me a bored look, and walked on down the hall, with people making a path for her. Just like normal.

As if nothing happened.

But something had happened. Something big.

And I wasn't sure to be happy or upset about that "something".


	55. Chapter 55

When we were younger, Elsa once told me she wanted to be surrounded by friends. It was one of those confessions that people make, one of those deep and meaningful ones that aren't really taken too seriously by the other party.

She told me about that want, one day over the snowman we had built. I sort of shrugged it off, because in spite of her words, she seemed comfortable with just me.

But that little bit of information forever rested in the back of my mind. That want of hers, to be surrounded by friends to confide in, to hang out with. A large group of friends, as loyal to her as subjects of a kingdom to their ruler.

Back then, I figured that that want would tear us apart. It was just a feeling, but a strong one; stronger than her feelings for me.

My fear came true of course - her desire to be surrounded by a large group of loyal subjects as well as several other damning factors, lead to our drifting apart.

I was upset, of course. Very upset. You've heard of the various trials I had to go through, as our relationship slowly fell apart, back then. Nonetheless, I was a little happy for her.

She wanted that big group of friends.

She got them, leaving me in the dust.


	56. Chapter 56

Throughout the day that Elsa kissed me in the hall, I was slowly informed of what had occurred in those days I was home.

Apparently, Elsa came in the day after Valentines Day, and was acting strange. She kept looking over at my locker, so much so that it was impossible to ignore.

One of her friends apparently questioned her, asking the wrong question at the wrong time. She snapped.

She flew off the handle, pushing her friends away, and running from person to person like a madwoman. She was asking where I was, why wasn't I at school and a whole other bunch of questions. All pertaining to me.

Eventually she broke down and yelled, they said. They said she yelled my name.

Everyone left her alone after that, and she seemed fine, albeit a bit uncomfortable. Maybe nervous.

They said she was more quiet, more reserved, the days I was gone. As though there was something she knew, or was hiding, that they all didn't.

I, of course, knew what my classmates meant when they told me that. Or maybe I knew. There was so much about Elsa that I couldn't figure out. Hell, there was so much about myself that I couldn't figure out.

Humans are complicated beings. And the relationships humans share are just as complicated.

Just look at Elsa and me. I don't know what she thinks of me, and half the time, I'm not sure what I think of her. I think she hates me, but desires me. I know I love her, but sometimes I hate her. A lot of the time I pity her.

But my emotions are everchanging. I don't know what I will feel each time I see her. But I know one thing:

My love for her tops all.


	57. Chapter 57

Elsa turned into my shadow. And it was strange.

For the rest of February, she followed me around, an ever-present presence, just lingering about. She was like a body guard: Always there, giving off a threatening air, but never really interacting with me or anyone else.

She was just _there._

And typically I'd enjoy the situation. But it was just so sudden and everything was just happening. I used to be the one whose eyes followed Elsa around constantly, wishing deep within myself that I could physically be beside her at all times.

Well, I got my wish.

Maybe it would have been better if she would have talked to me. Maybe it wouldn't have been so awkward.

I wished I knew what we were. I wanted so badly for her to love me like I did her. But I just didn't know. Maybe she felt guilty about everything she had done, and that was why she was hanging around me. Or maybe she felt lonely, after she basically ousted herself from her group of friends, and I was just some sort of last resort.

I didn't know. I just reveled in the peace that reigned during that time.


	58. Chapter 58

"We haven't talked," Elsa said, the first day of March. I almost sighed in relief.

Instead I shrugged.

"I don't know about you..." she said, her voice halting, "but I don't know what we have. Like...what are we?"

I turned from my locker to face her, gifting her with a one-armed shrug.

"You don't know either?" she asked. I looked at her, feeling slightly strange. Her voice came out sounding vulnerable. As if realizing the bit of soul she had just revealed, she cleared her throat, straightening his back.

"Well, I know what I want us to be."

She leaned forward kissing me. Short and sweet. When she pulled back, continuing to hold me close, she smiled down at me.

For the first time in an incredibly long time, I smiled. And it was true.


	59. Chapter 59

She started hanging around me even more after the kiss. But it wasn't like before, with the long silences. She talked to me, her soft words gently ghosting against my ear when she whispered. She sat by me at lunch, and stopped by my locker every passing period. And when we walked through the halls, we began holding hands.

We kissed sometimes. Sometimes we even hugged, which was even more impressive. After all, kisses could be given out simply, with the minimal contact of lips against lips. You could gift out kisses easily and briefly. Hugs were something special; they were longer, and actually very comforting. Something true lovers, with an emotional connection shared.

Needless to say, I loved the hugs best.

Some days we'd rush home through the slushy remains of winter, to one of our houses, where we'd come together. That didn't happen too often though, because high school alone was exhausting.

I liked the sex least.

It wasn't due to that day in the bathroom. OK, maybe a little. But it was mostly due to how Elsa would act. She would loose herself in desire, and for just a moment, I think she forgets what she's doing and where she is and (worst of all) who she's with.

I like the times she hugs me, because I know she's hugging _me,_ not some body that is only there for her to use.


	60. Chapter 60

Elsa's birthday came on fast. It was in the middle of March, you see. And after we became a sort-of unofficial official couple...things seemed to fly by fast.

We didn't do anything special. We went over to her house, where I met her aunt for the first time. Then we hung around her room for a bit. We talked a little, but mostly we just laid on her bed, my head resting on her stomach.

I liked laying like that, because I could hear her heart; I could feel the bit of warmth that came off of her.

It was comfortable.

Eventually I gave her the present I had gotten her: A large box of chocolates.

"You know me too well," she had smirked, almost immediately opening the box. I accepted the chocolate she offered me easily.

Eventually, the sun began to set, allowing brilliant colors to paint the sky.

"It's almost summer," she said suddenly. I glanced over at her, wondering what brought about the weird declaration.

But she was looking down at the bedspread, her fingers tracing the intricate designs on it.

"I feel so old...you know?"

I shook my head.

She laughed dryly, petting my hair slightly, before her gaze softened once again. But it had an odd feel to it — almost despondent.

"I just...this is our last year in high school. At the end of this, we have to get jobs and move out and go to colleges...we have to be grown ups."

As she sank back into the bed, her eyes half lidded, I hugged her close to me.

"I don't feel grown up," she whispered. "Nor do I want to be. I'm not ready to grow up yet."

My hand drifted across the air between us, coming to rest on her cheek. Almost immediately I jerked it away, but she pulled it back.

"I feel like I've barely had a childhood. I'm not ready to grow up. I don't want to."


	61. Chapter 61

After I left Elsa's house, I thought a lot about what she said. About growing up.

Our senior year was coming to an end, and yet I didn't feel any different; I figured everyone else felt similarly.

It was just so...so strange. To think, that in a few short months, we'd be leaving the school we grew up in...to think that at the end of summer, we'd all be venturing across the entire country, and the small town we'd grown up in would be a thing of the past.

It was just so crazy to think of things like that. Like my relationship with Elsa...it was like everything was suddenly moving so fast.

Until that year, my senior year, I had wanted so desperately to get out of the small town, and the school, and go somewhere where no one knew of my past, and my name. I wanted a fresh start.

But with recent events...with Elsa and me becoming a couple...I wasn't so sure that was what I wanted anymore.

I loved Elsa. I didn't want us to be drawn apart by life just as soon we got together.


	62. Chapter 62

I went to Elsa's birthday when we were younger, once. It was one of those ones where you invited everyone from the class to, because "Why not?"

I sat off to the corner, fiddling with the party hat, watching all the other kids participate in the fun and games. No one invited me to join in, so I figured they just didn't want me to play.

At one point, though, Elsa came over with a piece of cake. She shifted awkwardly, before handing me the plate. It was chocolate cake with chocolate icing. I felt my lips twitch into a small smile.

"Thanks for coming, Anna," she said, before biting her lip and looking back to the other kids, who were playing some inane kids game. Her eyes showed how torn she was, to stay by me, her friend, or to go and have fun with the others.

"I, um..." I shook my head, motioning for her to return to the fun. She smiled at me gratefully, though there was guilt in her expression as well. "Thanks. You know, you can join in if you want...?"

I shook my head. It wasn't a real invitation, only a moment of pity that forced those words from her mouth.

"Well...if you want to..." she trailed off, heading back to the group.


	63. Chapter 63

Elsa and I had never been on an official date before - there were times when we hung out at her house, and all that, but never a date.

So the first day it hit sixty degrees, we decided to go out and celebrate.

There was this restaurant in the middle of town. It was the place where everyone went to for every occasion. You know, one of those places that wasn't too fancy but was just fancy enough for everything.

We didn't dress up too much, or anything - in fact we dressed down quite a bit. After the freezing temperatures of the winter, sixty degrees felt like the middle of summer.

So I wore a t shirt and capris, and Elsa wore...well, her lighter leathers. In spite of all the changes she'd gone through, she refused to change her clothing choices. But I was happy that she didn't change that; she was beautiful the way she was. I loved her the way she was.

We ate a nice meal of finger sandwiches, fries, and chocolate mousse for dessert. It was nice, to sit and talk with her about light things.

Afterwards, we left, going to her house. I vaguely noticed her aunt's car was gone.

When we got inside, she started kissing my neck, her fingers dancing over the buttons on my pants. I hesitated briefly, before pushing her hands away. She didn't move them back. Instead we continued kissing. The passion between us grew, and my legs grew weak. We tumbled into her living room, the small slits of light through the blinds were the only source of light provided to us.

Her hands drifted down once again. I separated my mouth from hers. "Elsa...stop..."

To my relief she did. She pulled back, brushing a few pale strands of hair from her flushed face, giving me an annoyed look. "Why?"

"I just..." My throat seemed to tense up, and I couldn't force any more words out. I coughed a couple times, rubbing my face, trying to calm down. Eventually I was able to choke out, "Let's just...not ruin this evening..."

"Ruin?" she asked incredulously. "Is that what you think of sex? A ruining factor."

"No!" I exclaimed. "No, it's...I just...can't we just _be_? Like why don't we just cuddle, or-"

Elsa's glare cut me off. "I've been so patient, Anna. We hardly _do _anything."

"No," I corrected. "We talk, we hang out, we hug and kiss...what's wrong with just doing that stuff-"

"Why are you acting so...ridiculous about this?!" she yelped.

"I'm not acting ridiculous," I said quietly, feeling a bit offended. "You're the one acting ridiculous!"

I knew I said the wrong thing, but I didn't care. I was completely and utterly frustrated. I hated how she took something so serious as having sex so casually. "Doing that stuff may not be that big of deal to you, but it is to me." I said quietly.

She made a low growling sound. "I can't believe you think that little of me."

"That's not what I'm say-"

"Leave."

I stared at her in shock. Everything had been going so well. I was happy. Elsa was happy.

If I left, then that would be that. I was so sure of that fact. I didn't want to go.

"Elsa," I whispered.

The anger was pouring off her. She angrily pushed me away from her, the cool orbs of her face cutting through my soul like the shards of ice they were.

"Leave," she hissed lowly.

I left, but not without a fight. Not against Elsa, but against myself.

The walk home was incredibly cold.


	64. Chapter 64

Everything seemed to slow down to an agonizing pace once again. It wasn't that she was picking on me once again. No, she was leaving me alone.

All our classmates, and even a couple of the teachers asked me what happened. I refused to speak.

Eventually they left me alone.


	65. Chapter 65

Elsa was alone too. I half expected, after our short stint as a couple ended, for her to go back to her friends. But she didn't.

Maybe she tried. Maybe they just didn't want her back. Regardless of the circumstances, she was at least understanding how I felt.

Then again, I was back to that place where I wasn't exactly sure what I felt. I understood two emotions, only two, out of the whole jumbled mix-up of them all.

Sadness was one of them, definitely. I was oh so very sad. That's how you feel after you get everything you ever wanted, and it's suddenly ripped away from you.

And I felt anger. Anger that was almost stronger than the sadness. It felt like fire burning through my soul, threatening to devour me. It wasn't like the icy cold anger I felt before, whenever Elsa betrayed or hurt me. No, this anger was all consuming.

And it scared me.


	66. Chapter 66

I had only truly lost my temper with Elsa once before. We were in middle school, when we were friends. She had been sitting behind me in some class, and she tugged on my braids. I told her to stop several times.

She didn't.

I turned around and yelled at her.

It was so ridiculous, something so silly to get mad about.

But I was so angry. Angry like how I felt after Elsa and I broke up.

I felt like I couldn't control the anger then. I felt like I was going to explode.


	67. Chapter 67

And explode I did.

I wasn't sure how long a time had passed, between Elsa and mine breakup and the time I lost it. It could have been a week. It could have been centuries. My time was all mixed up.

But she came up to me one morning. I turned to escape her, because by that time, there were a lot of kids coming in from the buses. But she grabbed my hand.

"Anna, wait!"

I turned to her, vaguely annoyed by both her and the aching in my chest.

She bowed her head, allowing her hair to flop over her face - but not before I saw the dark circles beneath her eyes.

I felt guilt, though I knew I shouldn't have. This wasn't my fault, not really.

No. It wasn't my fault at all.

I realized that, then. None of Elsa's harsh treatment of me was justified. It was, in fact, wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.

"Anna," Elsa breathed. She moved to kiss me, but I moved back. "Anna, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were that against...you know...So...Anna-"

"No," I said quietly.

She blinked in shock and confusion. "Wha-"

"I. Said. _**NO**_!" I screamed.

Everyone froze.

Elsa's mouth was open, seemingly stuck how it had been when she had began to talk.

"I don't want this! I don't want to play your game anymore!" I growled. "I'm done with you hurting me, and building me up just to tear me down again! All you've done is hurt me! Even your "love" hurt!"

"Anna-"

"No, let me finish, Elsa!" I yelled at her. She cowered, and I felt everyone suck in a breath. "I've loved you. I've loved you forever. But what have you done for me? You've hated me, and hurt me-"

"Anna, I love you-"

"Do you? Do you really?" I sneered. "Because it seems to me that you're just fucking confused!"

She stared at me, her mouth opening and closing. Suddenly, a crystalline tear rolled down her pale cheek, though her face remained emotionless. "Anna...please...please, I can't have another person leave me..."

My heart ached. But I couldn't go back now. I had to be rid of her. I had to. For my sake.

It had been a while since I had actually done anything for myself.

"Don't play the victim. I wouldn't be leaving if you didn't push me away."

"I...I don't mean-"

"You don't mean to? Elsa, you're the one that's beat me up, that's called me names. Elsa, you fucking RAPED me!"

The air seemed to be sucked out of the hallway. I couldn't breath. I couldn't look at anyone. I couldn't deal with this right now.

I ran. I turned and ran, with the faces of everyone rushing past me.

When I finally burst out into the warm spring air, a felt the tears just rolling off my face. The bright blue sky and golden sun seemed so long.

How could the world around me be so right when my own personal one was crashing down?


	68. Chapter 68

When I got home from school, I grabbed a pill bottle, not even reading the label, taking it to the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it. Then I set down on the side of the bathtub, gripping the bottle tight in my hands.

I felt like I should be more upset than I was. I felt like I should be sadder or angrier. I felt like I should want for everything to end. But I didn't. I felt...

Liberated.

So slowly, I unwound my fingers from around the bottle, looking at the label.

Vitamins.

I laughed then, because for some reason, it was absurd. And funny. Ridiculously funny.

I left the bathroom, putting the vitamins back in the medicine cabinet, before sitting in the living room, and reveling in the newly found freedom I possessed.


	69. Chapter 69

Even though I felt fine in the confines of my house, school was different. I had to deal with the stares of everyone, and the constant harassing of teachers and counselors wanting to "help" me.

I wasn't sure that I needed help. Maybe I did. Maybe I needed something. Not a therapist, or whatever, but a friend. Someone I could talk to, that wasn't going to feed me bullshit about stuff I already knew.

But I was alone. Maybe that was good too, because then I wouldn't have to spill my heart out to anyone. I didn't want to.

But I didn't want to keep everything bottled up either.

But I hadn't then, had I? I screamed my feelings in the middle of the hallway.

I'm rambling now. Long story short, I was just as fucking confused about my feelings as Elsa had been.

Speaking of her...

She had apparently left the school right after I had, and vowed to not return. Ever.

I was glad, I'm ashamed to admit. I was glad I wouldn't have to see her, and feel the build up of emotions raging in my soul. I was glad that she was gone from my life.

But I couldn't help but wonder what was next for her.


	70. Chapter 70

The air steadily got warmer outside, reminding me that I had always liked summer better than winter.

The applications I forgot I turned in to various colleges slowly began trickling back. There were acceptances and turn downs. But that was to be expected. I was rather proud of getting my acceptance letter from Yale.

I wasn't sure, yet, what I wanted to do, though...but I suppose no one knows what they want to do until they're doing it.

But with every letter I received, I thought of Elsa. I didn't know if she was still staying with her aunt, or if she had ran away for the second time in her life.

I just kept thinking about her voice. Her singing voice, the one you could hear just above the rest of the choir. How that voice could have gotten her into Juilliard. Or Jacobs. Or somewhere else similar. The top music schools in the country.

I wondered if she applied for them. I wondered if she applied for any.

I wondered about her.


	71. Chapter 71

I saw Elsa at the park in the beginning of May. To be truthful, I had been thinking about her less and less. I felt guilty...but not. I mean, she left. That was obviously a sign for both of us to move on.

But when I saw her...

I couldn't help but be drawn into her eyes, once again.

I opened my mouth to shout her name, but she turned from me, walking away as quick as she could.


	72. Chapter 72

I wasn't sure what the expression on her face had been when she saw me in the park. Maybe anger. Some sadness. Regret. A little guilt. Maybe a lot of guilt, and less anger. Or maybe all regret.

Hell, I didn't know.

I didn't know what I was feeling half the time.

I did feel weird about not talking to her though. Not a bad weird, but an unsure weird. Like I wasn't angry at seeing her, or even sad. Just...unsure.

But...I still felt that one emotion burning as strong as ever in my chest:

Love.


	73. Chapter 73

Finals were fast approaching, and I felt ready. I studied like crazy and continued doing my work as fiercely as usual.

People were actually talking to me. And I...well, I talked with them as well. After my temper tantrum in the hallway, I felt my tongue's looseness quite clearly. And I was enjoying the feeling of having the confidence to talk to people. And...I actually think they were enjoying me as well.

I loved Elsa still, true, but I didn't feel shackled down by that love any longer. And it was nice.


	74. Chapter 74

When Elsa and I were in middle school, we once made a vow to walk down the graduation together. We'd do that hat thing, where you decorate the tops of our caps. We decided that one of us would be valedictorian, with the other being salutatorian. We decided that when we tossed our caps up in the air, we'd catch each other's, and keep them for life.

It was strange, during the practices over the last week of school, to not be with her. To not be following through with our vows for each other. For her to not even be there.

I missed her. A lot. Not her abuse, and not her love either. I just missed her presence, and knowing she was there.

I also missed her light blond hair, and those icy blue eyes. I missed her pure skin, and the black leather that concealed most of it. I missed that little scar that had came from the incident that tore her away from me.

I missed her voice most, though. The voice that always filled the silence between us.


	75. Chapter 75

The last day of school seemed long, though it was probably just my eagerness that made it seem as such. I was ready to be out of the school.

Beyond ready.

What I feared, about moving away from home and starting a whole new life didn't seem as scary. It seemed like something great. Something to strive for, to hope for.

It was a chance at a new life.


	76. Chapter 76

I wore a dress beneath my graduation robes. I didn't like wearing it, because it reminded me of that time Elsa told me to dress better, but wearing anything else looked ridiculous, and made my robe bunch up oddly.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and couldn't believe it. This was it. This was the end of everything, and the beginning as well. I felt like I was at my final threshold, the border between my old life and new.

And hell if I wasn't ready to cross through it.


	77. Chapter 77

I'm not sure how it was for every one else, but the entire graduation was a blur for me. There was the processional, with everyone doing that awkward walk. Then we sat, and people talked. The band played, and the choir sang. More speeches.

The gym was hot. My gown was itchy and uncomfortable. I was becoming dehydrated, and the close proximity of everyone was making me nervous.

And then I saw her.

She was sitting on the end of the bleachers, a black hood concealing most of her face. But I saw her eyes. They were practically glowing, out from the darkness.

It was as though a bucket of icy water had been poured on me.

I jumped to my feet, startling those around me. She, however, calmly stood, walking out the door.

Someone tugged on me to sit back down. I did so quickly, though my eyes never left the door she exited out of.

I received my diploma, and there were more speeches. In spite of the hot gym, the cold refused to leave me.

As soon as I made my way back up the isle and through the gym doors, I took off running.


	78. Chapter 78

I wasn't sure where exactly I was running to, or away from. I was just running, and it felt good.

I came to a halt though, when I came to the bridge.

There was only one main bridge in our town. It went over the shallow river, and it was typically where every parade we hosted began.

It was also where Elsa's parents died, in that car crash.

It was where Elsa was standing, up on the edge, looking down at the swirling water below.

"Elsa!" I yelled, the word breaking free from my throat with such force, it surprised me.

Her eyes widened, as she pulled back from the edge. When she looked a me, there were dark emotions spiraling in her beautiful eyes.

Tears began running down her face, as I approached her.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I said fiercely. She bowed her head. "Well?" I demanded.

"I just...thought..."

"You were about to kill yourself!" I said bluntly. The amount of anger in my almost rivaled that time I screamed at her in the hallway. "You were about to end your own life!"

She turned her head away from me slightly. "I know."

"You..." I took a deep breath, remembering that time I sat with that bottle of vitamins in my hands "That was really stupid of you. Stupid, foolish, cowardly-"

"I get it," she muttered, sounding half-annoyed.

I breathed in deeply through my nose. "It was also really selfish."

"I probably wasn't going to do it," she growled.

I turned away from her, rubbing at my eyes. "So...stupid..."

I felt her sigh, and approach me. I sensed her raise a hand to set it on my shoulder, and then decide better of it.

"I'm sorry."

I refused to look at her.

"I...I'm really sorry Anna."

I didn't turn back to her. I heard her sigh, and begin to walk away. Then she stopped. "Do you still love me?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. Her question was asking so much. So much. She realized that. But...I think she already knew the answer.

"Yes," I said quietly. "But...you know we can't be together. You know that."

"Yeah." She coughed. "You know...I don't want us to be together. You deserve...someone not me. You deserve..." She laughed suddenly. "Nevermind."

We stood there, for a few minutes, back to back with a few feet which might as well have been a mile between us.

And then I said it. "Goodbye Elsa." I began to walk away.


	79. Chapter 79

"Zenith," Elsa said quietly, reading off the last word in the last encyclopedia. "It is the point in the sky that appears directly above the observer. In general, zenith means the highest point that something can reach."

I was sitting beside her at the table, watching her lips and beautiful eyes, watching her hands as they gently closed the book.

The bell rang, signaling our time to return to class. She got up, putting the book away. However, my voice stopped her.

"I like it."

She turned around, eyes wide with shock. Then again...she had never really heard me speak before. Her voice came out slightly awed. "What?"

"I like it," I said again, before gesturing vaguely at the book she had put away. "That word, I mean. It sounds kind of...infinite."

She blinked once again, before smiling. "Yeah. It does, doesn't it?" She asked, as we walked out of the library together.


	80. Chapter 80

"Anna," her voice called. I stopped walking away, but didn't turn around. The setting sun continued to shine brightly, casting beautiful colors up into the bright sky. I didn't want to turn away from such beauty, for I feared I would forget it.

"Yeah?" I prompted, when Elsa didn't say anything more.

There was another long pause, before she spoke once more. "I hope...that you will someday find your zenith. You deserve it."

I turned to look at her, but she was looking down. at the ground, digging her boot into the sidewalk. "You deserve someone who...who notices you. You really do."

I felt like I should have been drawn to her once again, but I didn't feel that. I felt...like a balloon that had been untied. A kite cut loose. An animal set free.

A butterfly gifted with wings.

"I hope you find your zenith as well...Elsa..." I whispered, walking towards the bright setting sun, on into my future.

**_~END~_**


	81. Chapter 81

**_Note to the Readers:_**

**_I hope you all enjoyed this, though I know many of you will probably be upset about the ending. Though I finished this piece ages ago, this one guest review truly summarizes my thoughts:_**

_Yes! Good girl Anna! Run away, far away, and don't look back!__  
__I'm so impressed by this story. You've done a remarkable job of portraying an abusive, toxic relationship and exploring the headspace of a domestic abuse victim. Anna's struggle and development are so heartbreakingly realistic and relatable, but she's on the right track and I really hope you don't make her slip back into the cycle. Like, really, please don't give this a "happy" ending where they sail off into the sunset together. There's something so upsetting about the idea of Anna's happy ending being with her r*** and abuser. She deserves better. I'm sort of baffled by how many reviewers actually want them to be together. I mean, if Elsa were a boy in this story (or even a girl who didn't share the name and face of everyone's favorite queen) then would anyone honestly be defending her behavior as anything other than abusive and reprehensible?_

**_Very eloquent, I must say! I enjoyed all (well, most) of the reviews. Really, every review means so much to me. So thank you, for taking the time to review!_**

**_I thank all the followers and favoriters as well, along with those of you who just came along for the ride!_**

**_I enjoyed writing this, and thank you all for reading!_**


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